Dumpster Diving for Your Love – Canto V
From Memphis' shores, John Johnson makes way,
After untied by joggers from his canoed fail,
To the downtown's Farmer's Market, where the day
Unfolds of mystery, and twists of green kale.
Amidst the stalls, he meets Willy Willay,
Who shares his woes of love's, long wail.
But what this! A twist, a turn, a vulgar jest,
As Willy recounts how he's been oppressed.
A humorous account, of one dumb man's plan
To look for freedom from matrimonial knife.
While walking they come to one farmer's stand.
It's Mighty Miss Mushroom Farms, so full of life,
And Baba Raj, with an offer of work in hand,
For John and Willy on Baba's boss's fertile land.
But wait! A demand, both crude and brash,
John must dress as Super Mario, if he wants the cash.
Reluctant, John acquiesces to the plea,
And dons the costume, with a heavy heart,
Desparate for dollars, as he yips, "It'sa me!",
To earn his keep, and play his humble part.
Forthwith John protests saying he may flee,
Wherein Baba Raj, threatens such false starts:
"Your Yoshi's eggs I will have unless you stay bold,
So you'll jump up with 'stache on and power-up when you're told!"
At the farm's bunkhouse, John and Willy stand,
Amidst others workers on their mushroom quest.
But lo! A twist too rich for mouse or plumber man:
'Tis Stardust, farmer's wife, stealing John's arrest.
She finds some space to execute a simple plan
To make John love her, bares him to her breast,
She makes a joke, a last desperate plea,
But John only thinks of Marta left back in the trees.
A moment of tension, breasts and bright spots,
Still John resists her long, lingering stares.
Enraged by rejection, Stardust changes plots,
A fate for poor John, and not a little unfair,
She'll compost and spread him over her mushroom pots,
For daring to refuse her sweet love affair.
Tears fall like rain, upon his cheeks,
As to be food for mushrooms, John does not at all seek.
Baba then rushes in, with news dark and dire,
Of Farmer Moonfart's arrival, "Cover them titties!"
Moonfart a cult leader preaching mushrooms and fire,
He walks with an entourage of pregnant teens and small kiddies.
Moonfart arrives - quite bearded and tired
Hoping to spy a little Peach for his giddies.
But finds Stardust and Baba and Mario, the hassle
His princess awaits in some other castle.