The ABCs…Of Death!
A is for Asphyxiation When all you need is air
B is for Beheading Say, how's the view from there?
C is for Crucifixion Yes, nailed upon a cross
D is for Dismemberment Your limbs get plumb torn off
E is for Electrocution A zappy way to go
F is for Firing Squad Riddled through with holes
G is for Garrotting A wire through the neck
H is for Hanging Thirteen knots is best
I is for Impaling Through the heart, you're to blame
J is for Japanese Encephalitis Asian problems with the brain
K is for Keelhauling Not a pleasant way to cruise
L is for Lockjaw With rusty nails you always lose
M is for Malaria Don't forget to drink your DEET
N is for Necrosis Rotting flesh is not that neat
O is for Obesity Must be hauled out by a truck
P is for Poisoning You drank that? Of all the luck
Q is for Quartering Pulled to pieces under blue skies
R is for Rabies From when the bat flew in your eye
S is for Stoning Body pummeled by short sharp shots
T is for Typhoid Poop-tainted water -> rose-colored spots
U is for Uritis You should've gone to the loo
V is for Venom From the viper that just bit you
W is for Wandering Spleen That goes in all directions
X is for X-linked severe combined immunodeficiency So you cannot fight infection
Y is for Yersinia pestis Though we know it as Bubonic
Z is for Zygomycosis A common fungus that goes chronic
Now you know your ABCs Your time is short, so live with glee!